The injury might not be permanent, but it's obvious that the effects are. But they don't have to be, right? The fact that he killed her, that he took revenge that far, is unsettling. Wash wants to think that he'd never do something like that, but the truth is, he's not so sure.

Revenge can be a tempting thing.

"The first?" Maybe if he understands his double's circumstances better, he might be able to help his other self. Or run far, far away, depending on how bad the story is.