gunsforhire | Log: I'll do what I can

Entry tags:

Log: I'll do what I can

Who: York (native) and Sigma Ai
What: Consolation over a lost brother
Where: The Ai household
When: Saturday night
Warnings: Possible swearing

York follows the directions to Sigma's home as fast as he can, his mind running at the same speed. He's going to have to lie. No way around it, he's going to have to act like this is the first time he's heard of the disappearance. Comforting Sigma will be easy, lying to him won't be.

This is so fucked up. He's holding too many threads and not letting too many people know which threads he's holding. Eventually he's going to get tangled in them.

But he can worry about that later. For now, his attention needs to be on Sigma.

At last, he arrives at what his HUD tells him is the correct destination. It's bigger than what he'd expected on the income he'd gathered was brought in, but then again it does have to hold eight people. Not quite big enough to do so with complete ease though. Hurrying up the path, he steps up to the front door and considers pressing the intercom, when he remembers what Sigma said about the kids being in bed. So instead, he sends Sigma a message on the comms.

I'm here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

York tightens his grip on Sigma when the younger man presses closer. Evidently the contact is helping or at least comforting him in some way.

Fuck, he wants to tell Sigma. Wants to tell him that Delta is okay and safe, that he's willing to talk and meet with his younger siblings... just not come home. But he can't. God fucking dammit, he can't. And even if he could, he couldn't tell Sigma what he clearly needs to hear.

That Delta is going to come back.

'Are you sure?' he asks. 'I know I didn't know him as well as you do, but he seemed so dedicated to you guys.'

Sigma shakes his head. "I messaged him. I begged him to come back. He says he can't. I keep telling myself he just needs time. We're meeting for coffee this week, and he wants to see the kids sometime, but. . . he's not coming back."

"I--I'm afraid something happened with Omega." The rest of this is conjecture and he doesn't know if he should say it. He hesitates.

'If you're meeting up, that'll be a better chance to talk to him,' he says. 'Maybe he does just need time...' He trails off. If he hadn't seen Delta himself in all this, leaving long term instructions for Sigma is a pretty clear indicator of how serious Delta is.

'What was the fight? Physical? A really bad argument?'

"I want to believe that," Sigma says. "But even then, I've got to find a way to get the twins to daycare and the kids to school when I'm supposed to be working. I need to do the shopping. I need to cook and clean and somehow find the chance to study, or just..." He can't drop out of school altogether, but he doesn't know how to make it all work. "Or I need to convince Epsilon and Omega to help, which is almost as hard as getting Delta back."

"Knowing those two, just shouting. I--I think Delta's upset about Omega's new job. He--" He swallows because York is an awesome guy, but some people are really uncomfortable about this. Like Delta. "He quit his old job without saying anything and has been working with a mercenary."

Jeez, he hadn't even thought about that part. Maybe he should have tried to convince Delta to stay more than he did. Except he would have left and fuck knows where he'd be right now if that had happened. But even so. York has a new respect for what Delta balanced in his life, and he's sure Sigma hsn't even completed the list.

'Fuck, that's a lot. Doesn't Omega help with any of that?' Delta can't be entirely responsible for all that. Right? 'Epsilon another one of the older siblings? As in... not playing in the park age.'

Well at least it wasn't physical. He hadn't seen any bruises on Delta, but it was good to know there weren't any to be seen. 'Mercenary work? That's fucking dangerous, what's he doing there?'

"Omega helps sometimes. Especially on Saturdays, when Delta would make him clean. He already gets the kids to bed, but--" He hears his voice harden and he tries to swallow his resentment-- "He isn't exactly going to be around every night with his new job. From what I understand, Meg found work helping with demolitions. Finally putting years of construction to use at a job that finally makes money."

"I wouldn't know if Epsilon is playing in the park," he tries to joke. "He's between Delta and me but he's never home. He also does college with a job on the side."

'Well if he's not going to be around much at night, maybe you can get him to do more during the day?' he suggests and tries not to snort at the irony of going from construction to demolition. Apparently buildings weren't the only thing Omega was demolishing with this job change,

'How come he's never home? Too busy?'

Sigma snorts. "With Epsilon, who knows?" he asks. "I need someone home in the evenings, because how else am I doing to see you?"

The admission spills from his lips in a panic. It's not the heart of the matter, but it has been gnawing at him until he worries the ache will swallow him. He looks up into York's eyes because he has to see how he responds to this.

'Try talking to him? I don't know him at all, so I have no ideea if it would be better to talk to a wall in that case or not.'

He looks down at Sigma at the man's next words and pulls him closer to his chest and kisses the top of his head. 'We can see each other during the day if neither of us are studying or working. Then, hopefully once things have settled down, we can take the evenings again.'

"I'm not sure who's less of a wall," Sigma admits. "If I could just quit my job, maybe I could make this work, but. . ." But they need the money. He's trapped.

Resting his head against York's chest, he whispers a soft "Thank you."

He slips his free arm around York's waist. "Can I tell you something?" he asks. "Not necessarily a secret, but something I've never told anyone else before?"

'I know.' Sigma doesn't need to finish the sentence for York to know what he's saying. He literally cannot afford to quit his job.

'Any time,' he says quietly, tucking Sigma's head under his chin.

He tilts his head, raising it from its rest and looking down at Sigma. 'If you want to, sure.'

"I never really wanted to get a job in forensics," he whispers. He's not sure why. He's safe here, with York's arms around him and his head above him and soft eyes watching him. "When I graduated, I planned to go get a job as a mercenary. It makes good money, and I--I wanted a way to look for someone, with my job and my degree."

"My oldest brother. He went missing a long time ago. I never thought that he abandoned us, but now, I'm not sure I blame him." Almost like Delta, really.

Fuck. Now what? He'd told Delta he wouldn't get Sigma involved in mercenary work, now he wants to get into it himself? Why can't just one thing go smoothly?

'Why do you think mercenary work would help you find him? There's other things you could do that could help track him down.' Safe things, less well paid, usually; but safer.

"I don't know," Sigma admits. "It. . . I guess it always just seemed like a good idea. I mentioned it to Omega last night. Now he wants me to team up with him after I finish school."

York bites his lip.

'If Delta is upset over Omega trying to become a mercenary, I don't think you teaming up with them is going to do do any good on that front.'

"No," Sigma says. "No, it won't. It would break Delta's heart."

"I mean. I have two years for him to come around, but. . . my brothers and I are stubborn. You might have noticed."

York pulls one of his hands free to rub the back of his neck, then returns it.

'I had noticed,' he replies. 'I'm guilty of stubbornness as well.'

"Now I'm wondering if I even want to, though." He sighs and sits up, still keeping one arm around York. "You told me last night that something might help me decide. Is it bad if I let this push me into making a decision? What if Delta comes back next week and I change my mind?"

'I don't know,' he admits after a moment of just their breathing. 'You've still got two years left, you can change your mind several times then. But I don't know about right here right now.'

"I can't believe he's gone," Sigma whispers. He looks at his empty palm as if he's lost something.

There's nothing York can say to that. So he just holds Sigma close and hopes that this will sort out in the end.

He can't do this. Not alone. He's only just found York and he's going to lose him, because how will he ever get Omega and Epsilon to cooperate?

Tears creep into his eyes again. He presses his hand against them, but they come all the same.

A tremor makes him look down again. Sigma is shaking slightly, hands pressed over his eyes and York can feel that he's tense. So he tugs him more firmly against his chest, still holding him. He doesn't know what to say, so for once he says nothing.

He lets himself cry this time. All day, he's kept up a strong face for the little ones. He broke down when he called Delta and when he called York, but nothing like this.

York doesn't say anything. York doesn't judge. York just holds him close, his touch the only thing holding Sigma together while his world falls out from underneath him.

God, Delta and Omega, look at this. Look at what's come of your fighting. ...Please sort out what you're going to do in the long run.

Sigma's shaking hard now and crying in his arms. York wishes there was an easy way to sort this all out, untangle the strings, but there isn't. At least not that he can see.

(no subject)

ambitious_muse - 2015-04-13 12:24 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

depthlesslock - 2015-04-13 14:11 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only