The Ai, the Thief and Recovery

[depthlesslock]

Who: Agent Washington (Native), Agent York (Native) and Sigma Ai
What: First meet, coffee and trickery
Where: The Green Fairy
When: Midday
Warnings: Tricks and lies and the possible exposure of both

York is well aware of his habit of being late for things, so he sets in his mind that he's meeting Sigma and Wash at ten to twelve and is rather pleased when he makes it there at five to. He's the first one there so he leans back against the wall and waits for his friend and boyfriend to show up.

This is going to be fun. Ever since Sigma agreed to the facade, he's been grinning every time he thinks about it. That's going to have to stop. If they're going to fool Wash, Sigma's not the only who's going to have to pretend. Fortunately, being caring and protective over him isn't going to be hard to do. It's keeping a straight face that will be the hard part, but he'll give it his best shot.

Comments

[searchandrecovery]

Wash takes Sigma's hand. York was right about the delicacy: it's not a firm handshake, but rather, a soft one. Wash gently shakes Sigma's hand, remembering that he's not supposed to scare off the boyfriend and ruin York's relationship and quite possibly his happiness.

"Nice to meet you too. York's, uh, said a lot of great things about you." While that's not strictly true, York has only said positive things. So Wash is gonna go with that.

[depthlesslock]

Wash has a very firm handshake when he wants to and York can see that the one he gives Sigma is anything but. Got him. Now to keep it up for a while. It's going to be a bit harder once helmets come off, but Sigma's proving himsef a right little actor.

'There's plenty of great things to be said,' he says truthfully, wrapping one arm around Sigma's shoulders and turning them to the Green Fairy. 'Come on, are we going in?

[ambitious_muse]

Slipping his arm around York's waist and leaning in certainly isn't an act. He has learned from the best, after all: even Gamma knows that the best lies are based in truth.

"I hope you didn't say too much," he says, feigning embarrassment. He would much rather have a boyfriend who takes pride in him. "I'm ready to go in if you are."

[searchandrecovery]

It hasn't even been five minutes and Wash has already managed to make the kid embarrassed. Great. He's set a new record.

"Come on, you two, let's get you some coffee." They're pretty cute. For some reason, Wash wasn't expecting cute from York. He was expecting teasing and who knows what. Maybe he'll get to see a different side of his friend today.

Wash holds the door open for them. "After you, lovebirds."

[depthlesslock]

York chuckles as he guides Sigma inside. 'Best keep your cats away if we're lovebirds,' he says as they pass Wash. 'Sig, did I tell you that Wash is not-so-secretly an old cat lady? He loves the things.'

The airlock is slightly crowded with three people in, but it was designed for bigger groups so it's not too bad. Once inside, York has to let go of Sigma to take his helmet off, but his arm's back around his boyfriend's shoulders once it's tucked under his free arm and he leads the way to a nearby table.

[ambitious_muse]

"You didn't," Sigma says. "How many do you have at home?"

He waits until they reach the table to remove his helmet, and even then, he's careful to avoid making eye contact with Washington.

[searchandrecovery]

Wash removes his own helmet and gives York a well-practiced pout. "I am not an old cat lady. I'm a trained fighter."

Oops. He wasn't supposed to say that. He turns bright red and immediately starts babbling about his cats, hoping that Sigma didn't catch what he'd just said.

"Uh, yeah, I've got two that are with me all the time, and then a rotating cast of cats that I rescue from plague clouds. You know. Strays, poor kittens that don't have any place else to go."

[depthlesslock]

Nice, Wash.

'You're a martial artist,' he says, rolling his eye and tucking Sigma a little closer. 'Technically it's illegal for you to get in a fight unless provoked.' Not that many people obey the laws around here. Especially in the circles the For Hires operate in. 'But you're still an old cat lady.'

[ambitious_muse]

Sigma would much rather know about the martial arts than the cats, but he does have a part to play. "Two cats wouldn't be so bad. What are their names?"

York has a friend who is a trained combatant, plus the entire ensemble of mercenaries he knows? He wonders if his boyfriend's job is as legal as he has been led to believe.

But why lie? York knows Sigma is comfortable around mercenaries. Right?

[searchandrecovery]

A martial artist? But he sucks at hand-to-hand. He's got to bite his lip to keep himself from saying something he regrets. Like that knives are his specialty, followed by guns that are almost as big as he is.

He's glad that Sigma isn't freaked out, though. He relaxes at the question about his cats. "Their names are Belladonna and Willow. Belladonna's a small black, and Willow's ninety percent tabby fur and ten percent sassy."

[depthlesslock]

York's foot is ready to kick Wash under the table if he says anything dumb again.

'They're cute, but they get everywhere,' he puts in. Seriously, he's found them in some places where it looks like the only way to get there is to fly. Or that one time Belladonna somehow got into the mug cupboard one morning.

[ambitious_muse]

Cute but everywhere? That sounds familiar. "They sound like a handful," he says instead. "Do you name the other ones that stay with you?"

[searchandrecovery]

Luckily, she didn't break any of the mugs, otherwise Wash's cats might not be allowed to roam the base anymore. Not that silly little things like rules would stop his cats.

"They can be a handful sometimes, but they're not nearly as much of a handful as some other people." He shoots a pointed look at York. "I name all the cats. Right now, we've also got Albert and Descartes and Sir Patches."

[depthlesslock]

York raises his free hand in the air in surrender, a look of mock offence on his face.

'You wound me, Wash,' he says and bites his tongue before a very inappropriate joke leaves his mouth. Such things shouldn't be said around someone as "delicate" as Sigma.

'As you can see, Sigma, the best named ones are the ones who stick around. The others get stuck with whatever takes Wash's fancy that day.'

[ambitious_muse]

"Descartes? Like the philosopher?" Sigma asks. "Are you sure that one won't stick around, York?"

Belladonna is his favorite of the names, of course, but he probably shouldn't bring up poisons over coffee.

Besides, he only likes cats insofar as he can tease York about them. Otherwise, he has no preference.

[searchandrecovery]

Wash smiles. Finally, someone who recognizes the name. He's starting to like Sigma already. Wash doesn't understand most philosophy and considers it to be way over his head, but he likes the way Descartes sounds, and skepticism is a thing he can get behind.

"Yeah, like the philosopher. He's probably the smartest cat I've brought to base so far." That cat's been able to find its way into every room of the base faster than any other.

Wash raises his eyebrow at York's sudden silence. It sounded like he was going to say something else, maybe one of his cruder jokes. But why'd he stop?

Oh, no. Wash is starting to wonder if they're fucking with him. But how?

[depthlesslock]

'Maybe. Wash loves the furballs so much, I wouldn't be surprised if they never want to leave. In fact, that's what happened with Willow.' Wash brought her in and then she just flat out refused to leave again. She's been at the base for the longest now.

'Oh wow, if you two are gonna talk philosophy, I'll just sit back here and feel dumb,' he says, leaning back in his seat and shaking his head, but he's smiling as he reaches up and lightly ruffles Sigma's hair.

'See? I said Wash wasn't scary and that you two would get on. Wash just has this aura of likeableness around him. I think it's 'cause he's such a dork.'

[ambitious_muse]

"Some people just have that animal magnetism," Sigma suggests. He can't do this. Washington is just too easy.

"No, don't sit back. I like hearing you talk. Tell me a story about one of the cats," he requests. "You or Wash."

He's right, Washington really is likable. He can see why York's his friend.

[searchandrecovery]

Wash grins at York. "If I tell the story, it's going to be the most embarrassing story possible." Wash has plenty of those.

[depthlesslock]

'Chose your next words carefully, Washington,' York says, grinning right back. 'You're not the only one with a plethora of embarrassing stories.'

[ambitious_muse]

"Oh, I want to hear this," Sigma says, nudging York.

[searchandrecovery]

Wash settles back in his seat, grinning. He's gonna have way too much fun with this. It's payback time.

"So here's the thing you've gotta understand about York. He is not awake until he's drank about a liter of coffee, give or take. Fuck, he'll get up, walk around, go back to sleep, repeat, until he gets some caffeine in his system. Anyway, one time, I volunteered to make him some coffee, but I guess I was taking too long or something, 'cause he fell asleep at the kitchen table. There was a storm yesterday, and plague clouds aren't good for a cat's digestive system, so one of the cats I rescued felt like he needed to throw up. On York's sleeping face."

"But even that didn't wake him up. He was out like a light. What did wake him up was the beeping of a finished coffee machine, and when he did, he lost his shit."

Wash giggled. "He's a little vain for cat-barf all in his hair. He wakes up, starts swatting at it, and that just pisses off the cat, who decides to swat back."

"Moral of the story? Don't fight a cat when it's early in the morning. Even if you're a pretty good fighter, the cat's smarter. And it'll win. Every time."

[depthlesslock]

York figures out which story is going to be told pretty quickly and he spends the rest of the time giving Wash the best You're So Dead look he possibly can. He kicks him under the table, but it doesn't shut him up. Looks like he's just going to have to endure it.

'I don't know if you've ever seen or smelt cat barf, Sig,' he says as the story concludes. 'But it is the most disgusting thing on the face of the planet, waste dumps included.'

He is so going to get Wash back for this.

[ambitious_muse]

Sigma tries to keep a straight face, tries to stay in character, but if the story wasn't enough to make him smile, York's response has him laughing aloud.

"A cat threw up on you? I've kissed that face! What if I'm contaminated now?!" He jokingly pulls away, though without separating their hands.

[searchandrecovery]

The feeling that they're fucking with him only grows, and Wash is glad he chose that particular story to entertain Sigma with. Either Sigma is both delicate and a neat freak, but also a tease, or there's something they're not telling him. It's probably the latter.

"Look, it's better to be upfront and honest about your experience with cat barf. Definitely the only way to build a relationship." Wash nods.