gunsforhire | Of Helmets, Bananas, and New Boots

Entry tags:

Of Helmets, Bananas, and New Boots

Who: Delta Ai (Native) and Omega Ai (Native)
What: Discussions of the oddity of the last month, and Sigma's pending birthday.
Where: The Ai family household.
When: The beginning of the month.
Warnings: None other than insults of Yorks.

Delta is a man used to routine. Minute variations are, of course, welcome, but beyond that Delta has always been about the details of life falling into order. Which has been what made this last month so... strange in Delta's opinion. There has been a quiet tension around his older brother lately. More than that. Sigma has offered him a day off from the twins and Theta and Delta just has to smile at his thought of his day alone tomorrow.

With a chuckle he enters the house, puts his helmet on the shelf, and moves to the kitchen. He's got some cleaning to do before he can sit down and give himself half an hour to relax...

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The way his brother freaks out has Delta turning off the sink and turning to look at Omega. Where had this come from?

His previous gesture turns to Delta tucking hair behind his ear as he looks at Omega.

"No, he wasn't in full armor. Tan jacket with a fur ruff. Tan shirt, said something like 'green fairy' on it I think? Scar around his left eye, which was milky white because he was mostly blind in it. He left Smithson's before me and we talked about... adjusting to our disabilities. Why, is there a problem?"

Omega has a white-knuckled grip on the edge of the table, because clothes can be changed but eyes...not so quickly. "The eye. How old was it? More than a few weeks healed?"

Omega shakes his head, does not go find this York and turn him into so much red mist. "Theta and I ran into a guy a few weeks back, scared the grape. Scared me," and that's not an easy admission for Omega to make most days. "Said his name was York. Knew our names, said he was a soldier. Said he was partnered with you. Said he lost you."

But Delta is there, he reminds himself, Delta did not get lost. Must have been some other Delta. Somehow. "Theta called you, you were fine, we beat it. Didn't think much about it until just now."

"He had two good eyes. I would have remembered a bad one."

"Months and months old," Delta says quickly, moving to touch his brother's shoulder. "Hey. I'm okay. Just some other guy. Who was nice. He made me feel... a bit more comfortable than I've been about myself in a while."

With a sigh he sits next to Omega.

But this other 'York' worries him.

Just the same name. It was possible. It happened. And Delta was okay, and nobody weird had mentioned anything like it.

Though Omega had met plenty of weird people lately. He wondered what blondie was up to.

"So his name's York?" Omega asks, with a grin he doesn't really feel. "Do I need to have a conversation with him? Wait, first, is he cute?"

If this York made his little brother happy, well, he automatically gets tagged as the good one. "What did you guys talk about?"

See, look. Delta sitting down. This is a good thing, he tells himself.

"WHAT!?" Delta demands. No. First it was Sigma, now Omega?

"No, shut up. You don't need to have a conversation with him because I'm never going to see him again. He's a random stranger with vision problems who make me feel less bad about my hearing ones," Delta sighs. Why does everyone imply he's after some stranger he spoke with for less than twenty minutes?

"Yes, yes, a random stranger. Completely unimportant in the grand scheme of things, of course." Omega leans forward, grinning. Seeing Delta flustered is always fun. "And you told him what sort of mods were in your helmet? When not even your dear baby brother knows?"

"Meg," Delta chides, frowning at his older brother. "I had a chance to speak to someone else with a disability and feel slightly better with how I cope with what I am. Why must you or Sigma make a big deal out of me talking to a stranger?"

In fact, the only reason Delta had mentioned it was because of thinking about the damage to his helmet.

God. Why can't they be nice?

"Okay, okay," Omega raises his hands in surrender. "I thought you might have made a friend. Forgive me a moment of hope." To Omega, that is a big deal. Delta and Gamma both are too alone for his liking, and Theta leans that way more every day. It can't be healthy to never talk to anyone outside the house. "Did you at least get his number, be able to talk to him some more?"

Anything that makes Delta feel better should be encouraged in Omega's book. With great zeal.

"You're just as bad as Sigma," Delta answers angrily, pushing to his feet. "No. I didn't get his number. He's a stranger I'm never going to meet again in my life. Please stop."

Both of them need to stop.

"My social life is sufficient as it is," Delta sighs.

Omega would disagree, and at great length, but he really should not fight. He should stock up on all the good will he can, before Delta finds out what he's plotting. And if he's going to pick fights today, it should be about over work or calling milkshakes lunch. The logical move here is to drop it. And if Delta's going to be angry, Omega can be logical, right?

Omega leans back in his chair, laces his hands behind his head. "No, it really isn't."

Delta glares and walks to the sink. "He's just someone. It doesn't matter, okay? He's just a stranger and we talked."

And he was cute, but whatever. Cute strangers are still strangers.

Omega watches him walk off. "He's a stranger and you talked. I'd say that matters. When was the last time you talked to someone that wasn't us, or about us, sparkles?"

Here's an idea. Make Delta so mad he doesn't speak to Omega ever again. Then he can't lecture him about going out and blowing up buildings for donuts. And cash. Yeah, that is a great plan, right up there with "borrowing Gamma's laptop" and "napping in the same room as twins and markers."

Delta whirls to look at his older brother, clearly annoyed. "I talk to my professors and co-workers. I talk to people at the stores. I talk a lot to Cassy at the store and Theta's teacher and the ladies that run the daycare the twins are at."

That was enough for him. He had better things to do than talk to strangers.

And Omega will bet that Delta does not talk to any of them an iota more than he has to. An Iota, ha. He'll have to remember that one.

"And to York, apparently."

Delta keeps getting all worked up over York, and Omega's going to think there's something there. Maybe he is cute.

"He spoke to me," Delta counters. "He was nosy and in my business."

He'd gotten used to it, accepted it. Enjoyed it.

Thinking of it he smiles briefly and shakes his head.

"You would just mess with my head if I let you."

"And you're smiling just thinking about it. Why is it so hard for you to admit that you may possibly, that there is the slightest chance of you doing something that does not involve a sibling, or making money to feed a sibling, or studying to get a better job to take care of a sibling? Because the all-sacrificing martyr act? That gets real old real fast."

Mostly because it's supposed to be Omega's job, and Delta chafes at it so much less. A little because it's obnoxious as the proverbial.

And if Delta thinks his brother is messing with his head, perhaps Omega should oblige him.

"Stop," Delta says firmly, angrily. He twists to glare at Omega over his shoulder. "Just stop. I love my family, I love caring for my siblings. God, does it just make you made that I'm content living like this? Putting them first?"

It's a fight they have often enough. Too often.

He sighs and shakes his head.

"How much longer until you leave too?" Delta asks quietly. "Until you pull an Alpha and walk off and leave this all to me?"

Omega slams his open hand down on the table, hard enough to make it shake. "For the last time, I'm not going to leave you. There's a difference between putting them first and having nothing else -I couldn't leave you if I wanted to!"

Which Omega does not, just for the record, not that Delta will ever believe him.

"How much longer before you break? Because you can't even leave, you have nothing outside this house!" Yes, he's yelling, and no, he doesn't care. "How much longer before I'm stuck here with you -and it can't be that much longer, you won't even eat lunch, Sigma practically has to beg you to read a book! How can I trust you to take care of them when you won't even take care of yourself?"

Omega does not start up the old argument of Alpha leaving or being taken. He's not going to let Delta distract him from the issue at hand.

"God you're so stupid!" Delta shouts back, furious. "This is about the stupid milkshake!? When I came home that day I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an apple for my lunch. I didn't want Sigma wasting his personal funds, which he has so little of, to buy me lunch. God you think I'm so stupid as to not eat?"

He wants to throw something at Omega. Hit him. How dare he?

"I don't have time to read a book right now because we need the money to afford Sigma's birthday present. Because my helmet is failing and it needs replaced and we can't afford that," Delta continues. God why is he such an idiot?

"I can take care of myself. And Gamma. And Theta and the twins. So when Epsilon goes and Sigma goes and you run off, I'm going to be able to keep taking care of my siblings. So don't tell me I'm not capable of taking care of myself. And I don't need to talk to some random pretty-boy in a helmet shop to feel half so fulfilled as I do taking care of my family who I love."

So instead he glares at Omega, furious. "This family would fall apart without me. And then they're you. The guy who can't even hold a fucking job for more than a few months. Already you're looking for something new. By now you could be something better than a guy working on laying a foundation. Instead we live paycheck to paycheck because you don't allow for anything else. If you had the choice you'd have me tear up the checks that come in the mail from our 'parents.'"

Omega stands up, slowly. Delta is right. Delta is mostly right. But that doesn't mean he's going to let him get away with it. "Yes, if I had a choice, I would," he says, as calmly as he can manage. "I'd do a lot of things differently if I'd had the choice. I'd have gone to school, gotten certified in something, maybe even a degree. But I had the seven of you to feed and clothe and put the lights on for, and as you said. We live paycheck to paycheck. At least when I jump ship, I get paid better. I don't hear you complaining then. Would you like to try to find me a job? Or would you like to stay in your cozy little bubble where it's my fault because somehow working ten, twelve hours a day isn't trying hard enough?"

Okay, so that was not in the slightest what Delta's message had implied, and now Omega feels guilty, which just makes him angrier. He hadn't eaten lunch that day, aside from what he mooched off Kim. Air filters are expensive.

Omega stays calm, lets the anger fill him up and lend him strength. He measures his words out carefully, not saying anything he'll regret later. After all, he's just telling Delta what he's seeing. "And yes, you've made very sure the family would fall apart without you. But you're so happy with it. What has it cost you, to have your professors and the ladies at the daycare and Theta's teacher look at you and say, 'there goes Delta, who gave up everything for his family! How noble, how good, how admirable he is! Truly, they would be lost without him!' So forgive me for not standing in line to tell you how wonderful you are, to have fallen into your happy little life that you love so much."

Low blow, perhaps, but no lower than Delta went. Has he forgotten the things Omega had confided in him so long ago? Does Delta truly think Omega wanted things to turn out this way? That Omega somehow cares less about them than Delta does? The thought, that Delta holds such little regard for Omega, freezes his blood and curls his hands into fists.

"Do you regret it now, throwing him out?"

"How dare you?" Delta growls, eyes narrowed.

The only things he's ever done is for his family. He's given up everything for his family. His hopes. His dreams. His goals all thrown through the window because the only thing that he could do was provide for them. Instead of having what he wanted, he took a job that he knew would pay. Always pay. Something that could help sustain them.

He gave up everything and he did it because they needed him. Because Omega can't even begin to manage money properly.

No.

"Getting rid of that rat in our midst was the best plan," Delta says, his voice cold. "But if you think you can do this without me, then say the word. I'll leave to. Because clearly all you want is to be the one. Be everything Alpha refused to be. So if you're going to do this, if you're just going to throw me out because just once I took the chance to talk to someone who would understand how weak and powerless and broken I feel every morning when I wake up, then just do it. And maybe then you'll see how much this family needs me, and respect that. And maybe you'll understand how much I need my family."

Because without them to live for he is actually, actively useless. Without his family and what he is to them, what is the point to even waking up in the mornings.

"You fucking asshole," he curses under his breath. "I don't want or need anyone else because this is my home. This is my family. What I'm doing isn't noble or good or admirable, it's the way I get through every single day from sun up to sun set!"

Now Omega is confused, and that really just makes him madder. Not too mad to see that Delta appears upset, and not too mad to ignore it. So before he hauls off and slaps his brother silly -not that he'd ever do that, but oh is he tempted sometimes- he goes back over what Delta said.

It is all patently ridiculous. Can't Delta see that what came out of his mouth made no sense? What did Omega say that was even tangentially related to those accusations?

"Don't put words in my mouth," he says, unfolding his arms and grabbing the back of the chair. "I never said we didn't need you, I never said I could do this without you." That's perhaps something he doesn't say enough. That's on him.

And that's a realization that tastes bad in his mouth. Breaking the chair isn't going to make him feel any better, this isn't something that happened because he wasn't strong enough to change things. This is something he did, and he shouldn't take it out on Delta but he does.

And so he tells Delta what is the truth, at least from where Omega stands. He's learned that often, that can be the cruelest thing of all. "This is you home, and this is your family, and what you do is more than anyone should be asked to do." This is what Omega asked him to do. "Because this is so much to ask, we worry about you. Because you don't ever complain, we wonder what you're hiding." Okay, so Sigma is getting thrown under the bus here, but Omega suspects he might have primed the pump, so to speak.

"And if our concern for you has upset you, you have my most sincere apologies," Omega spits. They are not sincere apologies. They are thinly-disguised curses. "I thought you seemed happy to have met someone. I thought I saw you smile. Clearly, I was wrong."

Omega hates himself, almost before the words leave his mouth. He just tried to upset his brother, no matter how Delta takes that the intention was there, and that leaves him feeling...dirty.

"I don't believe you," Delta answers simply.

He shakes his head and walks to the kitchen door. "The problem, Omega, is that you don't understand me. And you've never tried."

Annoyed he walks away. "Pick Theta and the twins up. If anyone needs me, I'll be up in my room working."

"Hey, I'm not finished with you!" Omega grabs Delta's shoulder. "Where do you think you're going?"

There's no way Omega's going to let Delta wander off and stew.

"I'm finished with you," Delta counters. "Let me go, Meg. I have to work. I can't... I won't just stand here and let you make me feel like shit."

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